It must be God’s will.
To have to meet my ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend… My heart races as I try to compose myself. She does look really happy thou. It’s good news. For the both of them. 🙂
I wonder what will happen the rest of the day? Will we be friends or foes? … …
There are tonnes of unforeseen circumstances happening these days. It must be a challenge that I’d have to go through. BRING IT ON! I certainly most welcome it. :DDD
Toodies! I’m off to lunch!
4 July 2012
Know what? I survived 1 month without you, and looking forward to more to come.
Yes it sucks to not have someone to lean on and be pampered all the time and have a listening ear when you have problems. But being single has it’s flaws and errr bonuses? I have turned into a WORKAHOLIC. (Not like I wasn’t!) – might be one of the break-up factors. Well, keeping me busy is good. I haven’t had time since the beginning of this week to stalk him. 😛 The only flaws that I’m unhappy is that I am less energetic and chirpy as I was when I had a boyfriend. Having a boyfriend/ potential boyfriend allowed me to empty my complains or problems that angered, upset or made me happy. It regulated my emotions better as we talked and even discussed about strategies for work. Not to mention gossipping! Hehehe. Being single was different. I couldn’t share it someone who would undertand me as he would. I would coop up my stresses and feel awfully miserable and horrid, like today. What’s worst is when I’m faced with too much stress and don’t let it out, my stomach gastric starts to act up.
I don’t feel happy going to work these few days.. There’s just way too much work and I can’t cope. I feel so alone..
———————————–
It’s the 27th of July. Reading back to my drafted post, I could feel the difference of then and now.
I’m happy to be enjoying every single day, cherishing each moment I have, and living each day like there’s no tomorrow. True, I do get envious at couples, but so what? I’ve gained more friends than ever. What’s a relationship with someone when you aren’t friends at first?
I’m proud of myself to have such courage to stand up after a fall. 不亏是个狮子座♌的！Definitely a Leo ❤
Glad to know that I’ve survived and I’m happy. I’m super duper proud that I have not been checking up on his tweets. This shows that I’ve really let go, and stepped away… I definitely still miss him at times. But My thinking is that as long as he’s happy, I’m happy. 🙂
This reminds me of the talk I had with the kids this morning about Personal Care. I’ve been working on teaching the children to show and express their care for the ones they love.
It’s so easy to show someone you care. A simple hug and maybe a kiss on the cheek shows it. You probably don’t even need to say anything.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Recovering from a break up is never easy. I want the best for him, and even for his current girlfriend, but yet missed the times spent with him… But the him right now isn’t the one I knew anymore… Should I thank him from freeing me. Or should I thank him for… I don’t know what else.
“いまは、うれしいですか？”
If you are, I’m really glad. Keeps me relieved and comforted and gives me the strength to move on. If you can do it, I can too! I’ll show you!
But right now, I Miss You:
Sha-la-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la-la
You used to call me your angel
Said I was sent straight down from heaven
You’d hold me close in your arms
I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me
(Chorus)
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it’s different now
You’re still here somehow
My heart won’t let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you
You used to call me your dreamer
And now I’m living out my dream
Oh how I wish you could see
Everything that’s happening for me
I’m thinking back on the past
It’s true that time is flying by too fast
(Chorus)
I know you’re in a better place, yeah
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I know you’re where you need to be
Even though it’s not here with me
(Chorus * 2)
(I miss you)
was doing some daily journal writing in my diary and was reflecting about my relationship with him. How much I still miss him. Even more now that he’s away… There’s nothing wrong to miss someone isn’t it? At least I know that this is temporary and will go away soon.
There are simply so many questions I’d like to ask. Yet no one can answer it except him. I may think I know him well enough, but it may not. I may think that I can understand him, but it may not be true. But at least I’m learning to let go. Who wouldn’t? It was my first ever relationship with a much older guy whom I clicked really well with. Screw it if He had a bet. Screw it if he was much older. Screw it if he was playing around. (well, not really.) Screw it if I stupidly got myself into this mess knowing the heartache I’d face.
I feel apologetic that never once did I think for him. After a sharing session with a friend, I found out that people at your work were talking about our relationship.
In a relationship,
If ever one party was to feel shame of the other, be it hiding the relationship, or afraid to introduce him/her to their friends, it means that you’re not meant to be. I’m sorry if your pride might have been trampled back colleagues showing disgust about you dating someone so much younger than you. I can understand that a men’s pride is important.
If ever one party was to be faced with stresses at work and to listen to colleagues gossiping about others, it means that you’re not meant to be. I’m sorry if our relationship caused you stress at work. Never once had I wanted that to happen. If I had known, I wouldn’t have agreed to start.
If ever one party was to go out on a date with you, and starts putting in less effort to please you, it means that he’s getting sick of you.
I’m sorry if I bore you out or didn’t dress sexily enough or if we had some miscommunication along the way.
If ever one party was to gradually stop contacting you, you know, He ain’t yours no matter what sort of promises he made to you…
And if you really love your guy and know that nothing is getting better no matter how you try, it is time to let go. If breaking up will make him happier, do it. Yes, you’d be hurt for sure. But Loving someone isn’t about keeping him.
I would be lying through my teeth if I said I don’t miss him, I don’t feel sad, I don’t miss being with him. I still feel sad at times, or even cry. I’d often ask, “Why is he dating someone whom he used to call a mad women?” Yet, they are Men. Human’s lie. But funny how I can never get mad with him at that. How much I wished I was that lucky girl to be going out with him. To be able to spend time with him, his sarcastic jokes that often scares me but cracks me up with endless laughter. I feel a pinch of jealousy that all this ain’t mine but someone else’s. The endless texts, the skype calls, the relaxing dates, the romantic dates, the snuggle times, the sweet lil gifts. It’s all someone’s now. You lucky girl. Do cherish him ok? ❤
I’m really grateful to have been instilled with the skill of social respect, understanding and wide perspective. I knew how to let go when it was time… At least I am grateful that even if he was playing around or doing it for my sake, that he bothered to end the relationship before starting another. All I can do is pray and wish him happiness with his future girlfriend and that he learns to try and commit and trusts that there something called everlasting love. Even at your age. I’m sorry if I couldn’t make you feel secure and provide you with the assurance that I’d love you forever. Even if you were doing it for me and my future. Even when you knew that I was willing to go through thick and thin. \
I sincerely hope that in your next relationship, you learn to trust your partner more. Perhaps she may be better for you. Though you were happy with me, you may be happier with her. I hope that she’d be able to do a better job than me, making you feel settled and comfortable. For sure, I know that she loves you more based on what you’ve often told me. Perhaps its that security that you need. Something that I cannot provide, because we had so much in common yet different.
Even if there was a teeny tiny percentage that you broke up with me because you really loved me and want the best for me, I am grateful for that. I will cherish that opportunity and find someone better, and promise to work hard in my career. Not for you, but for myself. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to know you and providing me with such a rich and wonderful experience. Yea, love can rock and suck big time. But it’s part of our journey through Life. Life goes on whether you’re dead or alive.
I’m surprised how calm I can be even with the most panicking situations. There were two choices standing in front of me when we broke up. 1. You can either pick yourself up and take it as a learning journey and carry on with your life, or 2. You kill yourself and end your miserable life. Even when I misplaced and lost my phone the other day. How awfully calm I was while my dad waas the one getting all flared up and asking me a million questions. I was mad and sad at how ugly the world can be. Dishonest people. Yet looking it at another side, I took it as a sign from God that I was meant to lose it. To loose all those cherished memories of our text conversations. Perhaps then I’d really be free from him.
Who knows?
In a way, this painful breakup and helped me matured in certain ways and taught me life experiences and lessons to always remember. Though I’m open to meeting new people, I’m kinda hesitant to start on another relationship so soon. I don’t wna meet another heartbreaker. I’m just a simple minded woman who wants someone to love me as much as I love him, to be willing to go through thick and thin together in sickness and in good health, for poorer or for richer. I need someone committed, patient, hardworking and have perseverance in what ever he does. Someone who can have two minds. Someone who trusts you 100%. Where to find someone like that? The only candidate is God. Heh. Waking up from the painful breakup has made me want to commit to knowing God and Jesus better and create a closer relationship with him. Only then will I find someone who would love me as much as I love God and him.
May you cherish her as much and keep the relationship going. May you not break her heart. I’m pretty sure she’s a nice person and there’s something that attracts you towards her. I pray and hope that you are with her because you truly like her and want to be with her and not because you are doing it to make me give up on you or maybe even to fill that empty space. Who knows. May you not hurt her as you did with me. May she treasure you much more than I did. The list goes on and on… It’s sincere wishes. I feel at ease knowing that you’ve got someone with you…
Goodbye my first Love ❤
I wish you Happiness and Forever Good Health.
Take care “My old man” (always my old man :P)❤
Yours truely, and still loving you,
Trixie Liao ❤
How long I’ve yearned to pen down my thoughts. Screw it if you don’t like it. It’s so enjoyable to reflect and write about how I feel, think and see. Perhaps this may lead me into my future career. 🙂
it always does.
There are good days and bad. On a good day like today, I wanted to share and check out how he’s doing. Only to find out that… we aren’t even friends on Facebook anymore. I know I said I’d stop contacting you, I meant for the time being lah. Plus you’ve said that “Yea, we could still be friends.”
It saddens me to find out that everything that I didn’t believe might be coming true. It was as Scoot said. They are doing this just a moment of fun. They just enjoy the pleasure of getting the girl. Even if it’s the truth, I so don’t want it to be true. I’d feel sad and sorry.
Well, it ain’t my business to bother with anymore. Not some nosey parker.
But I do wish to tell you something that I didn’t have a chance to..
for the lovely memories
for the fun times
for the crazy times
for spoiling me rotten
for putting such great effort to please me
for teaching me
for providing me with new experiences
though it was short
it was sweet
Perhaps someday we’d be friends again.
God knows.
I know that you’d might or might not read this:
You’re leaving tomorrow back to Canada. Have a safe flight home! Have tonnes of fun and come back in one piece! Say Hi to the kids for me. 🙂
Lastly, take care of your health and I sincerely hope that you’d find your soulmate, your happiness.
I just realised that I’m in Red, white and black!
Love the combi
Let’s see how many red and white items I can find today. Hehehe.
Red and white plastic bag from Cold storage, red, white and black attire and bag combination, red, white, and black shoes!
People dressed in red and white standing next to each other too! But I didn’t manage to get a shot.
Now off to the dentist! Dr Koh has been unwell and nursing her poor health, so I had a new dentist call Dr. Kai Wen Toh. Nice and gentle, just the way I like it.
Clean teeth after Cleaning and Polishing
Tooth decay spotted!
Time to get it fixed!
I was really brave not having any anesthesia. More like afraid of the needles! HAH!
Love the skirt!
I’m so in love with my poofy skirt from Hong Kong. Never regretted getting it. Though it cost $80. But hey, $80 buck for DKNY brand is cheap!
Mirror reflection
“Mirror Mirror on the escalator, who will be my prince charming of all?”
Met Lisa for lunch and decided to head over to Cuppage Plaza Gyoza place. YUM! Bittersweet memories.
But who cares? I’m there for the food. Not to sob and cry over a broken relationship. He’s probably a J**K anyway.
Gyoza
In english translation, “King Gyoza”?
Char siu Ramen
My omelette rice. AGAIN.
Beep Beep!
Lisa needs to work on her photography skills!
I covered like more than half the motorbike and she could still tell me it was a great photo. *face palm
Awesome facial, awesome Yami yogurt,
Not so awesome seeing him. with another women.
Donotberash, donotberash. Glad I wasn’t. Glad it’s over. If stares could kill, you’d be dead by now.
I’m looking at you up, down, left and right in a different light.
Kinda’ starting to feel disgusted and despise. Sigh.
Why are you like that? All those stories. All lies.
Someone like you…
It’s been a week.
I’ve decided to meet up with him. Definitely will miss him much, loads, tonnes, truckloads.
I guess we were just not meant to be? I don’t know..
Talking face to face about our relationship, whether or not we reconcile, or whether it’s a closure, I just don’t want to let it drag or run away from it any further…
I have survived over the past few days, and I’m pretty sure I will survive the next few weeks, or at least till the end of the year knowing work will keep me busy of thinking such thoughts. I’ve thought about worst case scenarios of asking him out to meet…
If he doesn’t reply my message or uses harsh words as a reply, the it will be what Scott had told me yesterday. He’s just someone who likes the trill of chasing a girl, get her and score. But I trust that he isn’t.
Still, you can never truly know a person deep down inside. I sometimes can be surprised at the things that my friends would do to get to their goal. I never thought or believed that they would resort to such means… It’s telling you,
Never judge a book by it’s cover. Never judge a book by it’s contents.
And I’m curious to find out. Even if I get hurt again.
I believe and trust from my heart that he is that trustworthy and sincere man. The one who I loved, and loved me most. ♥♥♥
Whether it ends, or a new beginning together, or a new journey I’d embark on… I’m willing to face it with confidence, courage believe and trust.
Without any ending, there won’t be new beginnings.
– Trixie Liao
Follow my footsteps... 