Among everything…

Aside

I still want you close-by at the end of all my anger, mad-ness the horrid stuff I say when I’m upset, mad and depressed. You didn’t have to do that just cause I said I said I won’t want to have direct contact. You’re such a dumb dumb sometimes. You should know me well enough to understand that I say things but don’t mean it. I will contact you when I’m ready to be friends again. By hook or by crook, I have to overcome everything when the term starts because I can’t just leave my work unsolved and uncomplete. It’s Life, I’ve gotta deal with it. I gotta face it.

Plus, I need you to help me figure out darn Google Analytics. It’s such a pain in the ass dealing with it for the past couple of days, and I never get it right! Ppffffttt.

So can you undo what you did at 8:44am?

Pretty Please? with a cherry on top?

Or perhaps say it in a different way.

Get you bum back here!😛

Or I’m gonna text you.

One moment in time

 

Each day I live
I want to be
A day to give
The best of me
I’m only one
But not alone
My finest day
Is yet unknown

I broke my heart
For every gain
To taste the sweet
I face the pain
I rise and fall
Yet through it all
This much remains

I want one moment in time
When I’m more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me

Give me one moment in time
When I’m racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

I’ve lived to be the very best
I want it all
No time for less
I’ve laid the plans
Now lay the chance
Here in my hands

Give me one moment in time
when I’m more than I thought I could be
When all of my dream are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me

Give me one moment in time
When I’m racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

You’re a winner
For a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine

Give me one moment in time
When I’m more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me

Give me one moment in time
When I’m racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will be
I will be
I will be free
Oh I will be
I will be free

A spur of moment

Just when I’ve changed my mindset and ready to move on, you changed your mind. Just when I’m ready to accept you again, you change your mind again.

It’s hard to have to know what you want in love but have your partner being indecisive and not willing to take the challenge and you having to be at the top of the cliff. You either celebrate your success climbing all the way to the top, or fall to your death.

Love is profound.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (NIV)

I’m thankful to have gone through this journey, knowing you and being with you. Of the many times I’ve told you, it is for you to accept, understand and overcome your worries, feelings and emotions.

Being depressed is a definite emotion. You can’t possibly ask me to be happy when a week ago, you told me that I was worth trying for. A week later, you gave up. Yes, you’re playing with my emotions. But because of love, I was willing to go through thick and thin with you. I can’t say what might happen during this period. All I can hope for is miracle…

Yet I told myself, this will be the last chance. This will be it. Of the past breakups, I know that you’ll always be back to my side no matter what. Hoping that you’ll be a better person each time you come back and hoping that you’d probably learnt that you make sacrifices for love. This time, you gotta think it carefully. It’s your last chance. I’ll give you till the 29th of Jan to think through. Find out what you want. Don’t let your mind overwrite your heart. Let your heart lead the way…

You’re always saying and doing things in a moment of impulse and then regret it. 29 Jan will be a beginning or ending.. To sprout or to bury, the decision lies with you..

Don’t be stressed just because you know what’s my decision. Don’t think about what’s best for me. Don’t think about your past relationships and compare them. Don’t think about what you can and can not do for me. Don’t worry about the future – what might happen to me if you leave before me, blah blah blah. Its a really simple question really. “Are you willing to live with this person for the rest of your life?” For once, just be selfish and think about yourself. When you do that, you’d be amazed by your desires and decisions. I may not have that years of experience like you do. But I think I’m wise enough to know what I want in life and in love.

1 Corinthians 16:13, 14
Stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. (NIV)

On the side-note, you’re such an asshole for ruining my mood just when I’m working on my lesson plans. Your timing can never be better. What a mess you’ve made me into.

All’s well, ends well

I still live up to my two day record. How do you find someone who gets over a heartbreak in two days?!?

 

A crazily optimistic person perhaps?

 

Well, I guess I’ve got him to Thank for. It’s good to know that at least we’re still friends. It’s what I’d want at the end of the day…🙂

 

Thank you for the wonderful memories.

And to you…

Merry Xmas to you too.

I can’t bear to ignore you totally, yet I do not wish to have direct contact with you. Knowing that you care but yet can’t be with you hurts. Staying away, was something I felt that was the best thing to do. Just by reading your text messages makes me tear and causes my gastric to act up. But yet, I don’t want you to stop. I want to know what you’re doing, how you’re doing, what’s going on and so on…

Time will heal wounds. And I know that during this time, you will be understanding and give me time and all the space that I need.

Christmas Day

I woke up today telling myself that I’m gonna keep my mind away from you. I told myself that if I don’t do something to pick myself up, no one will. I’ll turn into a living corpse. Meeting Charlotte last evening cheered my up a whole tonne. I can’t wait till school reopens and I’ll immerse myself with work.

 

I woke up today to have Santa come knocking at my door. Christmas Presents!😀

Love the tops from Charlotte, my brother and his girlfriend.

Love the new wallet from Felicia. I’m thankful to be receiving gifts that are practical and something that I really need. Thank you Feli. And for the wonderful lunch together. There was so much food at the table. Never had so much in my life; Turkey, Pig in a blanket, Pork Knuckle, Vegetables, Pancakes (can’t remember what they call it), apple cider, Ham, and not forgetting Awfully Chocolate Cake!

 

Been such a long time since I played Monopoly. Sam was such a good player. He made both Feli and I go bankrupt. And to think I had the most expensive land and still go bankrupt.😦 I swore to beat him in the game the next time. It was lovely seeing how much Felicia and Sam understood each other. They each bought Monopoly for each other, the Singaporean version and the English version. Someday, I’ll meet someone another one like him.

 

Dropped by to visit Princess Elly. She was such a darling! OMG. I love her already. Ereen gave me an inspiration on gifts and I thought I might try it out sometime. Spend quality with Ereen and the baby before leaving. It was really brave of Ereen to go give birth to Elly without any Epidural. Someday, I’ll try that too. “To go to hell and back again.” from what Ereen quoted.